Main Cast Of Character's, 15.
Spaghetti: Spaghetti is a mid 30's, freelance, non union, 'Production department' personality. As a Set Director & Line Producer he's shot a lot of Stunts & High Power Second Unit days on Films & TV shows.
Booked to shoot a day of simple 'Insert shots' on a TV Pilot, Spaghetti & crew are caught up in a perpetually live 'Reality Show' about them. Although he protest, the show wont stop because he's signed a contract that stated employment 'for run of show'
His character is absolutely the 'Straight man' of a traditional comic duo, & in our case, the remaining Crew & Environment are the Comedy Element.
Spaghetti himself seeks to maintain order & do his job. In time this becomes more challenging & he becomes more desperate. He is often the center of comedy & we laugh at him, as he is the 'Reluctant Hero' who never wanted this job & will do anything to get out of it.
Although Spaghetti says & does ridiculous funny things, he's never joking around. In fact, the joke is always 'on him' & his eternal struggle is to recover from this, & get back to a reality that makes sense to him.
Spaghetti himself is made aware that he's actually on a show.... but he cant really comprehend how that works, or where it comes from. He's never seen it himself. From his perspective he's just trying to get his shot list in the can & move on to the next assignment.
He appears in skits & often plays in multiple genera & format of our show, but we blur these lines of what & where 'reality' actually exist.
This 'Fractured' reality & mental state, is the source of his internal mental dilemma, his major emotional conflict, his character arch, & in fact the Major Story of our whole show.
Spaghetti first appears as almost the 'Bad Guy'. He's a classic 'Alpha', prick & a half. The crew is horrible & he lets them know it with biting & direct insults. Maybe not 100% bully, but tyrannical none the less.
In time the pressures of the job & the show's fractured reality begin to take their toll on Spaghetti's psyche & we see him unravel on many levels.
His 'internal choices' to become a better leader & man, through all the chaos, is what makes him a hero & endears him to the crew & audience
Spaghetti goes on, to becoming a father in a sitcom, who is producing a Soap Opera, where he moonlights as a Spy for 'the Department of Internal Intelligence”, which in fact, also plays out in his real life.
Eventually the full sum of calamity & the forces that be, prove too much for Spaghetti, who eventually 'looses everything' but finds happiness as an internet vlogger....
Until, he's finally spit into some Theatrical Films & has to fight for mankind & the whole universe in a 3 part Cinema Franchise.
** A full body x-ray of Spaghetti reveals... He wears a full set of dentures. He's got a baseball (?or tennis ball) where his spleen used to be. There's a pair of forceps under his rib cage. There's a 'Hot Wheels' car somewhere in his intestine. His collar bone has been broken once, his right ankle has been broken 3 times. 2 of his lower vertebrae are dislodged in different directions. His left hand contains a robotic prosthetic skeleton fused with bone at the for arm. We never verbally mention these injuries but see them during health checks.
Dolly Grip / Mark: is Spaghetti's main "Enforcer//take care of business guy" & Spaghetti’s oldest friend. They used to make skate board videos together as kids.
Mark is a 30 something YO, typical white boy, ruff & tumble, surfing, beach boy gangster, with a prominent 'L.A.' tattooed next to his eye. He can hoist a J.L. Fisher dolly over his head with ease, & occasionally will throw it at Spaghetti if he's 'being a prick!'
In the beginning, Mark is a pretty simple Character, who executes Spaghetti's every order & request without question & will occasionally smack somebody on his behalf.
Eventually Mark becomes more useful & effective as the shows newest Producer while Spaghetti deals with Family & Legal issues during our Mid Seasons.
Further on, Mark becomes a surprise Hollywood darling with a few gritty 'De'Palma like' films of his own, racking up Oscars for works like The Director, Mother Superior, The Final Harvest, & his controversial masterwork, Hector & Girl.
From there, in the Final Seasons, Mark ruthlessly takes over territory in the Hollywood Industry & builds his own Studio Empire.
Dexter: Coordinator, Technical Wizard & Genius
Dexter is our 'Production Coordinator' & all around savior. His Technical skills & knowledge make him an integral part of most of our major disasters & catastrophes. When the s#it really hits the fan, Dexter is often the only one who can come up with an ingenious, cutting edge solution.
Dexter is an App developing 'hipster / nerd', who would be riding a variety of neo vintage, cafe scooter board things, if he weren't always busy trying to coordinate our show & often saving our lives.
develops a lot of important technology, & one of his best is a
'Jump Screen' that allows Spaghetti & crew to teleport anywhere
in time. In
the mid seasons Dex initiates a "federal touchscreen mandate",
stating that all TV sets in 2028 need to be touchscreen/teleport
screens (like the switch to digital). We say in 2028 it's required by
law to get this screen & it's gonna Zap you into a program. (we
do another skit where were operating touchscreen & we teleport a
old guy from his living room into the scene who's in towel/waist &
slippers... He was in the shower.." Ey! you said touch it, so I
did.... I was on my way from shower, what do you want!?!?)
Horse/Mule: “Yuel Tide Spirit” “I was supposed to be a racing horse”, The 'Horse Voice', is our weekly Narrative Introduction, “THIS WEEK ON SPAGHETTI…” He’s actually a Talking Horse!… Spaghetti keeps the ‘Stupid Mule!!’ around, mostly because he works hard & he’s good at Kung Fu,… and through out the seasons, they become best of friends. (kinda like Han & Chewie)
Mule/Yuel, who is in fact a Horse, (& the weekly Intro Narrator) joins our show in person early on, while shooting a 'Beats a Dead Horse' comedy skit. His drunk handler disappears & we're basically stuck with him.
Originally Spaghetti hates the whole concept, & tries to avoid ever talking with “The fricken mule', often making angry threats of 'Glue factories' & 'Dog Food', but Yule proves to be a complex, emotional character, with a lot of depth & an incredibly inspiring back story.
Yule brings a whole new level & context to the typical 'Talking Horse' genera. His expertise in Western style stunt riding, performing with drunks & children, ability to Sing, Dance, & perform stunning Kung-Fu, eventually makes him an integral part of most episodes.
In the later seasons, as Spaghetti is betrayed & vilified by the Network, the fans, Hollywood at large, & everyone he knows personally.... Yuel, the mule / horse, proves to be his most stead fast & faithful companion.
Rebecca: PA/Coordinator, Spaghetti's Love interest / Wife / Baby Momma
After an intoxicating First Season wrap party, Spaghetti inadvertently 'Knocks up' our shows assistant coordinator. Realizing the appeal of this new story line, Parent Company & Network, 'The Media Channel' forces a structural change to the show. Spaghetti & Rebecca are hastily married, to pursue raising a child in Sitcoms & Soap Opera format. Its a rough start but the two eventually find a sort of 'True Love' through a few subplots & seasons.
The rapid aging of her son Pisghetti, eventually takes its toll on Rebecca. She is conflicted between loosing her young adult son, who she only raised for 3 years, but also realizes that she's still quite young, 'never planned to have a family so soon' & 'still has options'.
In the later years Rebecca & Spaghetti separate, siting 'creative differences' but neither of them move on, & they never file for divorce.
Oscar: Director of Photography. We work with various technicians, but Oscar is the cheapest. We call him a lot.
Oscar is from Argentina & always dreamed of being a cinematographer. Composition is much more important to Oscar than Continuity, and if we're not careful he'll re dress the stage between each shot. Occasionally he shoots a decent segment.
Debbi: Blonde#1 Evil Vixen, Sexy Trouble, Jim's Lady, Office Receptionist, Vileness.
She's an absolute bitch, not because of overbearing authority or a strict work ethic. She's got none of either. It's difficult to understand what her job is.
No, shes an unbearable bitch because she's a beautiful woman who's greatest aspiration in life is to 'get to the top through sexual exploitation' at every business company she ever has or will work for. Exploitation of herself & anyone who she encounters. She's a slut & a half who thinks 'other girls are stupid'.
Debbi often plays & Often is a villain in our stories. She doesn't mind at all. She'll do whatever she has to do, to attract her next victim. Sexual predication ins't her only quality, but its a major core value of this character.
Darla: Blonde #2 Corporate Pain in Ass, Politically Correct, busy body, tattle tale, official sexual harassment coordinator. She's also kind of a bitch, but in a completely different way than the other (In the beginning we confuse these 2 ladies a lot)
Absolutely sure that she will eventually work her way up the ladder of Tinsel Town, Darla is always a force of condescension & righteousness who can immediately tell you what your problems are without blinking an eye.
A hard core 'Social Justice Warrior' Darla is always reminding us of what we should think, wear, have, say, believe, buy, sell, trade, teach or learn. She's 99.9% sure that she knows everything, & anyone else is just wrong (but its not their fault because they simply lack the information, education & simple facts)
If she makes it to being the first woman president, she's going to solve every problem the worlds ever had, with good communication skills, relevant content, & stellar audio visual aids. She's actually kind of surprised that no mans been able to do it yet, 'because its really pretty easy if you think about it'
Jamie, Set Decorator is a 20 something, attractive 'Tom Boy' type of girl, that gets along with everyone well. She's pretty regular, supporting our efforts in any way that she can. Because we are often 'In Reality TV' we don't always have a real 'set' that needs dressing, but she's good about keeping Base Camp comfortable & clean, & is able to put a lot of props together on the fly.
Her creative instincts get the attention of Dexter & the two cautiously flirt for years. Everyone else on the crew thinks 'they should be banging' but Dexter is hesitant to make that move. Its a back & forth relationship that spans the show.
Grip & Electric Department / Best Boy, Tony. Mark often works alone with Spaghetti, but on bigger shoot days he'll bring along a motley crew of Grip & Lighting Technicians.
Although they roam our sets freely & occasionally sit on our couches in Base Camp or Video Village, they mostly prefer to hang out on the Grip Truck, which is entirely off limits to the rest of the crew. Even Spaghetti himself.
In the later years, Mark, as a new Producer & Director, uses this team of men to help him gain decisive control over about 60% of the LA Film Industry & Unions. His Best Boy is a faithful soldier & provides an iron right hand to his organization.
Executive Producer, Cline: Our 23YO Executive Producer is a Young, Mod, Hipster, Coke Fiend….
Cline's Uncle is the owner of our parent network, 'The Media Channel' & so, gave Cline the role of EP on our show. He's completely uninterested, unless it gets him into clubs, or laid.
Although he supposedly majored in Film & Business at UCLA, most accounts claim he was constantly absent while doing copious amounts of heavy drugs. Although he paid an Indian exchange student to take classes in his place & insure his GPA, in his Junior year he disappeared in the Mediterranean for 11 months & was unable to finally graduate.
After his uncles Private Investigators tracked him to a homosexual Opium Den in Greenwich Village, he was brought back to the studio & appointed as the EP of an untitled, episodic, 'soon to be announced', Television Series.
Jonsing for a blast of crack, Cline turned over developmental responsibilities to an office PA & a Temp who was brought in for typing that day.
Well, these two did the best they could, & here we are, making 'Spaghetti' for a weekly prime time slot that the network was unable to resell at such a late date.
Cline heads up 'The Office' which is a separate place from set, that we hardly ever see. No ones exactly sure what Cline's bevy of young 'Executives' do at the Office, but they are very rarely available to support the crew or show, & they never answer phone calls. The only times that we do hear from any of them is when they are calling to complain, make ridiculous demands, or occasionally when they run out of drugs & are desperate to resupply but can't locate dealers.
Both Cline & Jim have relationships with office coordinator Debbi.
Jim, Debbi, are technically part of 'the office' but we do see them regularly on set. The others, not so much.
Cline, & the Jr Executive Hive Mind staff, are more removed, but appear with consistency. Mostly these people avoid us until there is trouble. They play more in the mid seasons.
*** Running Gag, Spaghetti is 2nd/3rd attempt at show.... Bar Napkins & old emails is all our Development & Script Materials......The First Original Executives disappeared as soon as the initial 8 episode deposit check cleared...... Later, Cline & these 2nd Executives got the show, (went out & Partied) & then had P.A.'s & Temps assemble notes into current show.... which they tried to sink for insurance$.... but network couldn't re sell time slot.... So, we're still here!
JIM: Associate Producer// Evil Villain
Jim is a latter 40's, handsome & athletic man who we first meet as an 'Associate Producer' early in the show. He quickly disappears to Prison after hiring mercenaries to attack his own Film set in a desperate attempt to raise ratings & gain publicity, but eventually returns in Season 3, to enact revenge on Spaghetti & Crew.
During our Jungle Survival episodes Jim exposes his true heart of darkness, as he leads tribes of zombie extras against our heroes.
Now a fugitive, Jim repeatedly stalks & revisits Spaghetti & crew, with a new diabolical plan of mayhem. Unfortunately for him, he never wins & is cast out as a type of recurring super villain.
He haunts us throughout the run of our show, constantly attempting to ruin Spaghetti & regain his former status at 'The Media Channel'. Jim is assassinated in Season 8 Finale, but we can bring him back from there if we need to.
Debbi is desperately in love with Jim & will always do whatever he asks. To gain influence at the Network, Jim suggest Debbi win the heart & mind of Producer Cline. The three have a weird threesome thing going on, which they want to expand into the show more, but no one really wants to see all that, so we avoid it as much as we can.
Baby Pisghetti Spaghetti ‘Knocks up’ Rebecca in season 2/3 so he’s got to marry her & raise the kid, in Sit-com & Soap Opera fashion. Baby Pisghetti is a delight. A viscous toddler & banafide terror at 2, Pisghetti is a chip off the old block, who masters the art of running a film set by the age of 8. He's a regular prodigy of unstoppable will & determination.
According to the Network, because of 'television time' & the various legalities & expenses concerning working with child actors, Baby Pisghetti ages & grows rapidly. This shocks his parents & the crew, as they rush to produce 'coming of age' family programming, & after school specials.
Pisghetti races through infancy, 3-5, 7-12, his rebellious teens, & finally hits 19, all within 3 seasons.
When he finally becomes a man, he rejects his fathers 'whole bullshit system' & decides to leave 'the media propaganda machine' behind, opting to go to Europe & become a famous Poet Vagabond.
Spaghetti isn't sure if he ever really liked the kid anyways, but this decision leaves his mother Rebecca emotionally wrecked & puts strained relations on the whole crew.
Wendel: Second 2nd Assistant Director, who we finally notice in season 4. He's been with us the whole time, dutifully completing Production Reports & exhibit G's every day. We don't notice for a long time, but he's a solid part of our crew. He's executed 4 'Super Color Hero's' & about 12 of Jim's Urinal Cake smoking Zombies during the early years.
Wendel is African American. Throughout the years we get a lot of accusations & hate/fan mail accusing us of being racist. When we finally notice Wendel, Spaghetti is elated, declaring that we have always had full 'diversity' & this finally proves it... “Between Dexter the Jew, the Mexican cleaning staff, a few types of China men, & a half Arab stunt guy, We're 100% Good!” He tells the ACLU that they can finally go home, but they say “more diversity only means more opportunity for discriminatory incidents!” & bring 2 more rep's to set to monitor us & eat craft services.
Dexter's mom / Penelope Mid 60's, radiantly beautiful, confidant & shrewd, Dexter's mother is a powerful widow of a notorious Studio Head (Dexters Father) who died in the mid 70's. Mr Dexter Sr was a technical genius of the early 20's & actually produced the first ever 'Talking Horse' films.
Penelope arrived in Hollywood in the late 1960's, an 18YO beauty queen & heiress to a successful dress making Jewish family from the Bronx.
During her first screen test, she won the heart of a much older, immensely rich, famous & powerful Studio Head. She married & had one son, Dexter, before her love & husband passed on.
Penelope inherited great wealth with the Studio, but her grief forced her to focus solely on her son, & her new business. She has backed & produced the greatest, most successful (& most expensive) films of the last 5 decades. Although she isn't exactly a household name, anybody who wants to do anything in Hollywood, has to know who she is & gain her approval.
Business savvy & politically active, she entertains & supports leaders of Nations, Industries, Art, Literature & Culture. Her reach and influence is global & immediate.
Zealously over protective of her only son, Penelope is the Angel & 'Hand of God' that Dexter calls upon when he's in really big trouble that he can't solve himself.
Dexter's mom always calls & text's Dex at home. She's got his apt. all wired up with video conference & security cameras reminiscent of baby monitors... Dex is about 30.
He's trying not to be a mamma's boy, but she makes it difficult.....She's always on Spaghetti about how he's got to be careful with her Dexter, because he's her favorite [& only] boy............(& she's got Security Contractors tailing them)
Penelope's secret conflict & tragedy is that she never remarried or found another worthy of her time or love. In the later seasons she has a torrid affair with Uncle Floyd & they eventually marry.
During our mid DII/ TRAVEL & LEISURE SPIES seasons, Uncle Floyd & Penelope are the only trustworthy, knowledgeable people who can help us combat DII, & run our action spy sequences. She's like 'M' on James Bond.
Dexter's mother knows all about "those Moon Base people"... & thinks "they're all a bunch of weirdo's".....
She advises & counsels Spaghetti through the loss of his show, & states.. "Don't worry, anybody who's Anybody in modern & contemporary society has to be involved in some type of Congressional investigation !!!!, You should be proud... You did pretty well..., Now all my industrialist friend's will remember who you are..."
'Uncle Floyd' Wise & charming Extra & Background Wrangler.
Floyd is introduced early on. He stays in 'Background Holding' throughout the show, but he's a wealth of information & we visit him for council regularly.
Floyd is a proud SAG member who has done Professional Background Acting for over 4 decades. He's worked on just about everything, all over the world. He has long relationships with EVERYONE in Hollywood, & often knows many of their dirtiest secrets. This information is critical to Spaghetti & crew on numerous occasions.
After appearing in a lot of episodes, we finally notice Floyd on set, & realize his special qualities. He helps PA's, Day Players & new crew members get their bearings, & soon enough is appointed as our regular 'Background Wrangler'.
In the mid seasons, Floyd is introduced to Dexter's widowed mother, (both in their mid 60's) & the two begin a torrid & passionate love affair. Really the stuff that films are made of.
During our Congressional Investigations, Season 8, Floyd is recruited by Mark to carry out a dangerous assassination of a rival studio head. Floyd is shot & injured badly, but he is brought back to health by Penelope & the two eventually marry.
'Equinox' The Time Bandit / Chet Oriley: Our self proclaimed 'Biggest Fan', This Naked Helpful Hero from the future, tries to ‘Time Jump’ back & cancel the show for us. Unfortunately he's never successful.
This character First appears early in season 1, & sporadically visits us till the shows grand finale at end of Season 9 where we actually 'first meet him' after meeting him 100's of times. When we Originally 'first meet him' at the beginning of the show, Season 1, he's an Elite, seasoned & established time traveler who commands incredible authority & knows us all to well, (but we dismiss his warnings because we assume he's a crazy crack head.) As the show progresses, he actually Regresses backwards to a 'Couch Potato', Chet Oriely, who watches too much TV.
When Spaghetti 'first encounters' Equinox, at season 1, as a seasoned time traveler, Spaghetti suggest that he should stop smoking crack, & go play the stock market with his 9 years of future knowledge. Equinox has never thought of this & decides its a great Idea. He never returns to jump back, past the Pilot to Development. This is why we are still on the air.
During the mid & later seasons, as Spaghetti deals with international espionage & and Action Thriller dilemmas with 'The Department of internal Intelligence”. He is helped & guided by a master spy overlord....who we never see or meet, but this mysterious benefactors call sign & correspondence is always 'Your Biggest Fan / Equinox'
Mr. Left & Mr. Right. Thug, secret Agents of the 'Department of Internal Intelligence” (which you should never say aloud more than 3 times, as it can lead to memory loss & general stupidity)
One of them is an older fat guy, the other is young & slim. Occasionally their weight's & builds mysteriously switch.
'Mr Right & Mr. Left' are not actually their real names of course. These names are simple field aliases for serious spy business. They seem to be determined by which is standing to the right & which is standing to the left..... although that can be confusing, depending on weather we are looking directly at them, or turned around from their own point of view.
The pair have unlimited access to an arsenal of classified government technology, but most commonly utilize 'Marbles & Tacks' for domestic, black operations. These 'Marbles & Tacks' are frozen ice & carbon, 4mm pyramid shaped 'Tacks' & 6mm ball bearing type 'Marbles' that are incredibly effective for destabilizing & disabling opponents without leaving behind any physical evidence. In some cases the 'Tacks' contain an undetectable neurotoxin.
Mr. Right & Mr. Left join our show in the mid seasons, as Spaghetti faces persecution from our own government, & begins the 'International espionage', season 4, that unfolds during our 'Soap Opera' sub plots, & 'International News' segments.
Initially tasking Spaghetti & crew with the creation of 'Fake News', they later over see a vast conspiracy to keep a secret base of wealthy & socially elite community members alive & well on the moon.
When this plan becomes compromised, Mr. Right & Mr. Left frame Spaghetti as a patsy, which ultimately results in a Congressional Investigation & Testimony, and the eventual cancellation of our show. (End Season 8)
Cast of Recurrent Supporting Characters. 30+
Stunt Performer / Mercenaries.
Spaghetti's crew of 4-8 Stunt Performers are hands down, the very best in the world. Most of them 'moonlight' as stunt men & women, but in daytime life are serious mercenaries, contractors & spec war operatives. (other stunt performers fear Spaghetti's 2nd unit, because he loads metallic glitter into his pyrotechnic charges)
They parachute into work & exfiltrate by helicopter. Precision Drivers, Flyers, Divers & Dancers, this stunt team delivers shots that would wow Buster Keaton.
They don't speak. Only the stunt Coordinator speaks. The rest communicate in hushed whispers & cryptic hand gestures.
Occasionally these guys assist Spaghetti in his arduous 'International Spy' seasons 4 & 5+.
Fights, skydives, old fashion Barn Falls & 'Human Fly' Building climbs.... coordinated driving, intricate performance, First Person POV, the Spaghetti stunt team delivers the finest, most impressive stunt sequences in modern media.
Our stunt coordinator "Admiral Rick 'Ricky' Doom" chomps a cigar & wears a Pilot's jacket, Glasses & old UDT trunks and wool dive socks. His black ball cap says 'SPAGHETTI STUNT UNIT' & a small 'HMFIC' tag. He wears a full Admiral's cluster of oak leaves on the bill. Ricky Doom is a 65 YO amputee who's got one of those running leg, blade things. He's got a hairy barrel chest with a tattoo of an old tall masted war ship. His left hand carries a cross anchor tattoo. his right bicep has an old assassins 'knife pierces skin' tattoo. He's got the name 'CONNI' tattooed in a heart, but its short for the USS Constitution. 2 doves on his shoulders, & a criss crossed MOM & POP. He also sports a rib tag, stating his name, Doom, Rick, DOB, his SS# & blood type.
Chipped & haunted from starlet suicides, we have a 'Magic Mirror' that plays & haunts us in many gags & seasons, We jump with it at the end. Deepest fear & fantasy is revealed in the Magic Mirror.
Power Rangers (who we must call 'Super Color Hero's) Initially they were only booked for 1 action sequence, but they become a regular part of Spaghetti's PTSD, so we have to bring them back occasionally. They are randomly sprinkled throughout the seasons.
Junk Mail Monster, Mrs Sock Monster, & their ratty Kids In later seasons of our show, when we learn a bit about Spaghetti's past, we meet this family.
Spaghetti hasn't actually been paid since the beginning of the show. Accounting always gives him the run around & excuses. After years of poverty, Spaghetti realizes his checks are being mailed to his old house in Malibu.
Surprisingly, when Spaghetti was young & successful, he had a house in Malibu, but he decided he hated it, & just left one day. These days he mostly stays at a squat in Venice. Problem being, he just abandoned his property.
While hoping to retrieve his lost checks, he returns 'home' to Malibu & is confronted by a 'Junk Mail Monster' his wife, who is a 'Sock Monster' made of missing socks & dryer lint, & their brood of about 5 half breed kids.
Junk Mail Monster (who actually has Spaghetti's paychecks within him) tells Spaghetti they have solid Squatter & Tenant rights, & that he's actually been paying all the property taxes for the past 5 years.
This kicks off a feud that actually spans many episodes as Spaghetti wrestles to win back control of his life. Seasons 5 & 6.
The Russians, Season 2, A small production team of 6 Russian nationals visit us to do some location shoots. They're a hard looking crew of Vodka swilling filmmakers, who exude an unnatural amount of body heat. When they arrive in LA they tear apart an old Volkswagen & process the various metals by hand into intricate film equipment, because 'gear didn't make it through customs'
We offer to help them shoot some scenes, but they don't need any help. They are masters of craft & elements, that intimidate Spaghetti & much of the crew.
Mark is not so impressed & gets into a weird Dolly pushing competition that escalates into dangerous chaos & cultural conflicts, but eventually they give him a weird Prison Style tattoo with ink made from urine & charcoal, so tensions seem to relax. They tell him it means 'Big Hard Bear' & no one quite realizes that his cool looking tattoo actually reads 'I Ride Big Bear Dick' in literal translation...... In a later episode a Spaghetti Stunt Team Mercenary spots Marks Tattoo & exclaims 'wow, You're an animal man!!' & Mark proudly responds 'Big Hard Bear!” It kinda freaks the Stunt Guy out.
1/2 Hoofed Animal's, Animated Cartoon Character's, & Belligerent B.G. Extras.
We have a lot of unusual guest & visitors. Sometimes this s good, at other times its bad. Truth is often stranger than fiction, & we get a regular dose of that as we encounter various episodic performers that never fail to fascinate, frustrate or astound.
Weather its a Hoofed garden Nymph, an extra terrestrial visitor, or a comedic menacing character, 'Anything can happen on TV' & with Spaghetti, it often does.
?Guest Stars? Cameo type appearances. Its important to note, Spaghetti knows a lot of real actual famous people. The problem is, he's in a lot of trouble with these people.
Hollywood is a small town that gets smaller all the time. Over the years Spaghetti has built & broken many relationships in the community.
Whenever Spaghetti happens to run into any of these people, it erupts into a heated exchange of accusations & tales of victimization, from one side to the other.
It doesn't matter exactly who or where, all over LA Spaghetti has some unresolved issues with people.
Often he's on the defensive, offering apologies, excuses & explanations. At other times He's hurling Insults & accusations. There's many bleeped out “F##K You's' & threats from both sides.... In some cases there may be an active restraining order involved.
Actors, Filmmakers, Journalist, Musicians, Politicians, & Athletes. Spaghetti has ongoing beef with a lot of well known people, always for some bizarre & unlikely occurrence that's years in the past.
S.A.G. Representative: We're in a lot of trouble with these people.
D.G.A. Representative: We're in a lot of trouble with these people.
PETA Representative: We're in a lot of trouble with these people.
ACLU Representative: We're in a lot of trouble with these people.
Investigative Authorities: We're in a lot of trouble with these people.
DNN, Domestic News Network / BOX News: We're in a lot of trouble with these people.
Various celebrities: We're in a lot of trouble with these people.
Paparazzi. A lot of trouble with Paparazzi, but in the right circumstances, Spaghetti will fistfight with a Paparazzi in a heartbeat, & often they are down for exactly the same.
Production Assistants / Coffee runners: Unfortunately on Spaghetti, we go through a lot of coffee runners. We loose them the way Star Trek looses Red Shirts. If we take a new PA or Runner out to a Stunt day, There's a high likelihood there not going to make it back.
A lot of times they quit & run away, they get lost & disappear, occasionally they book a better gig, ….. sometimes the homeless people get them. There's a lot of turn over in our junior ranks.
Our Mysterious Dance Team: Both the men & women on our dance team are absolutely gorgeous & fabulous.
Although we don't always see them in every episode, when we do its a stunning display. On a very rare occasion Spaghetti may find himself in a situation that specifically calls for an amazing Singing & Dancing routine. It's these times that our dance team really delivers & saves the day.
Left up to Spaghetti alone, (who is often out of step or tune) the dance performances would utterly fail, however these talented performers save the show again & again with epic displays of Tap, Jazz, Modern & occasional Interpretive Dance. In the end, Spaghetti figures “a lot of house wives like it”, so he doesn't mind if it helps him wrap the episode.
People who want to be involved, or are 'looking for free food':
Bit parts abound. Spaghetti & Crew are constantly moving around LA where they are bound to meet an endless eclectic mix of characters.
IN DEVELOPMENT @ EMG-Pacific
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